On 'Joey'

British television viewers eagerly await the screening of FRIENDS spin-off 'Joey' in February on the channel formerly known as Channel Five. I was never a huge fan of the hugely successful sitcom -in my opinion, the only episode which qualified as great comedy was the "They know we know, but they don't know we know that they know we know" saga. I believe that this qualifies me more than most to comment on the forthcoming spin-off.

'Joey' sees the well-loved actor move to Los Angeles to pursue his acting career. He has a sister Gina, a 20-year-old nephew named Michael, an attractive but married landlady, and a shark-like female agent who seems to have very little to do in the early episodes. This is a show about family, with a very different dynamic to FRIENDS.

Gina is played by The Sopranos' Drea de Matteo, with Paulo Costanzo playing Michael. Both actors appear to have rather large noses, so clearly there is some vanity on Matt Le Blanc's part here. However, neither of them are grossly overweight, nor do they have little beady eyes.

I was pleasantly surprised when I read what Joey's new situation would be. I was expecting something far more cringeworthy, perhaps along one of the following lines?

• Joey moves to Atlanta and takes residence with two attractive young women, one blonde, the other a brunette, both with dreadful Manchester accents. They embark on farcical adventures week-by-week, much to the distress of their stern landlord and his wife.
• Joey becomes an FBI agent/GI commander/Vampire slayer, and enjoys a one-hour format adventure show. Of course, his beautiful brunette sidekick is the brains behind their adventures, whilst his blonde secretary Melanie has very little to do and is recast almost every season.
• The director of NBC unwittingly commisions Joey to write a sitcom based on the adventures of himself and his 5 friends back in New York. Each episode is a dry attempt to squeeze humour out of an identikit sitcom plot, through endlessly rewriting the dialogue, so Joey turns to drugs and prostitution for relief.
• Joey starts work as a stripper in a male strip club owned by a savvy ex-lawyer. Every single episode involves him being mistaken for a homosexual and unwittingly dating a man.
• Joey wins the lottery in the pilot and, well-meaning soul as he is, offers to pay for all 5 of his Friends to have plastic surgery. They do so, and are thereafter played by different actors. Their adventures then continue as before. For some reason, Joey also pays for Phoebe's sister Ursula to have the surgery.