Go Fishing!!!

Hello friends.

I am here to offer you wisdom of a substantial order.

Are you tired? Confused? Disorientated? Do you feel that life is passing you by? Afraid and resentful of what might crop up TODAY?

YES! You are! Read aloud:

YES! I am!

Now you have confronted your problem! You must surely seek a funky new-age solution!

There is no solution.

Disappointed?

I lied.

There is a solution!

Go Fishing



Fishing is a leisurely pastime which has enriched our ancestors lives for maybe centuries. It is relaxing and life-affirming and it is also the only way to aquire essential foodstuffs such as:

-fish



Start fishing to day! It is as easy as a-b-c!
You will need the following:

-A body of water, even if it is just a jug.
-A boat, or other place to sit near to the water.
-A NOT BROKEN fishing rod
-Tiny fish dildos to use as bait
-A dildo for yourself



Here are the steps to follow to ensure maximum fishery satisfaction:

1. Aquire a fishing license. This is the most bureucratic of all the steps. It is nonetheless an essential step unless you are the Queen.

2. Have some sort of system whereby you are close enough to the water to dangle your fishing rod into it, but DO NOT dangle your fishing rod into the water.

3. Attach the bait to the hook at the end of the fishing line.

4. Hold the fishing rod out, then draw your arms backwards and fling them forward, so that the fishing line heads far into the distance. Then 'reel it in' by turining the crank. Try to catch a fish but not a not fish on the hook. It's harder than it sounds!

5. When the day is done, go to the local pub and have a few glasses of ale. This is the worst part if you don't like to drink. :(